JXHQ: Takes More Muscles To Frown
by thechokesonyou
Summary: This is a (possible) Oneshot that I wrote one night at around three a.m and found promising. Harley and Joker are back in Arkham, and their doctors are curious about their story. See how the opinions differ on the relationship of the crazy clowns, and just how different (or the same) Harley and Joker's minds really are.
1. Chapter 1

"Harleen? I'm Dr. Ross. How are you feeling today?" The dark haired woman from across the table asked. The blonde patient - irritated by hearing her old name - scrunched her nose up in distaste and crossed her arms across her chest scornfully.

"It's _Harley Quinn, _to you, Doc," She spat. She hadn't been called Harleen in months and she didn't want to hear it again. The doctor smiled politely but Harley could see everything under that expression. After all, she still had her Ph.D, so _technically _she was still a doctor. She knew every trick in the book, and she'd use them right back at the bitch across the desk. Harley could not believe that at one time she'd wanted that job.

The doctor cleared her throat and tried again. "Sorry, Harley. I want you to be as comfortable as possible here."

"How about taking these cuffs off, then? My wrists hurt somethin' awful," She complained, but she didn't really mind the pain. She liked it actually, it reminded her of Mr. J's violent touch. One more yank on the chains and the cuffs bit into her flesh again.

Dr. Ross smiled sympathetically (Ha!) and told her in her most sincere tone, "I wish I could, Harley, but I don't have that kind of authority. Maybe once you prove yourself you'll be able to have sessions with me without the restraints."

"You trying to tell me I'm not trustworthy?" She asked, her eyebrow jerking up to her hairline, her big blue eyes squinting.

"I'm just saying we aren't sure if you're going to cooperate yet. A lot of patients can get violent sometimes…" She trailed off. A cautious glance out of her peripheral was all it took for Harley to explode.

"Now you're talking about Mr. J, huh? Maybe he wouldn't get so violent if you douche bags weren't tryna lock him up all the damn time! You people deserve it," She growled, on the defensive.

The doctor frowned slightly, just the corners of her mouth pulling down. "So you're completely okay with the Joker's acts of violence against innocent civilians? Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you one of us, his targets, not three months ago?" That was definitely the wrong thing to say. Harley glowered at her and her fingers clenched into fists, nails digging into soft flesh.

In all her anger, she just hastily looked away, her pig tails swinging with her, and said, "It's just a joke. And I was _never_ Mr. J's target. Our relationship was different. From the very first day."

"Why don't you tell me about that? How your relationship began?" Harley knew she was just prying, trying to get inside her head, but she also couldn't refuse the chance to talk about him. She loved him after all.

She sat up straighter, getting comfortable for her story. The aura of the room changed as she began. It was no longer a therapy session, it was a memory, and it was as clear as the very first moment.

"Welcome back, Mr. Joker. Good to see you again." The Joker chuckled under his breath. Oh, he'd missed this place. He hadn't realized it until now, but the memories of all his mischief right inside these walls brought a… _Smile _to his face. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about today?"

"Oh, there hasn't been much _news _to tell. What about _you, _Doc_tor?_" He questioned, his eyebrow raising. "Last time I saw _you, _the _misses_ was, uh, seven months in and you were moving uptown, eh? How'd that go?" He raised his brow twice in quick concession. The doctor kept his cool quite well, but the Joker had spent his fair share amount of time in a room with this fella and he knew all his ticks and tricks. He saw the lines next to his mouth twitch ever so slightly and knew he had him. _Hook, line and sinker. _

"Mr. Joker, you know these aren't appropriate things to discuss," Dr. Bridget told him. Yes he knew! How could he not! Thats' why he _did it, _right? He giggled.

"Your kids, uh, _what? _A month now? _That is… _If she _made _it." The Joker never took his eyes off the doctor. He made it his job to know everything about this Asylum and everyone in it. When Bridget first started working with him, he'd paid off a few corrupt guards for some information and uncovered the rest himself. It was easy to tell when certain things were weighing on a person. For example, the slight paleness or discoloration of the face and eyes meant it was a sleepless night, and a not-tip-top outfit meant they were rushing. Any personal belongings or photos gave off clues, about who they were closest with and who was in their family. Wedding rings were an obvious one. You could tell about a person by the seams of their clothes and the shine of their shoes and the tightness of their jaw. Dr. Bridget was _good, _but the Joker was _better. _

It had been the third session when he realized his doctor was expecting.

It was another two weeks later that he was told about his wife's problem with miscarriages. Joker payed attention after that, real good. Any tick of stress, any sign of worry, he noticed and locked away in his mind. And today, he finally knew. After the few months away, none of his memory of Dr. Bridget had faded away. The Joker was like that, nothing escaped him at all. Nothing could be hidden from him. He was like an all seeing eye, around every corner, a fly on the wall. It was a great power and he used it wisely.

"Mr. Joker," He said, his voice harsh. "This is not the time or the place."

"Oh, sh sh sh, this is _therapy _isn't it, Doc? _Talk to me._"

The doctor quickly changed the subject, to something he knew the Joker would not be able to ignore. After all… It was his greatest success. "Let's talk about Harley."

The Joker smiled tightly. "What about... _my Harley?_" He enunciated clearly. He couldn't tell what he was feeling about this turn in the conversation. On one hand, he was angry that the topic had been changed and that the Joker was no longer the center of attention. How dare _she _steal _his _spotlight? The second feeling was pride, that he knew that at the very same moment little Harley Quinn was sitting on a couch like him, talking to a shrink, where three months ago she'd been on the other side of the table. She truly was a masterpiece. Her descent into madness had been beautiful and it was all… Because… Of him. The third emotion was intense, unadulterated jealousy. Why was this man thinking about his Harley? Why did he want to talk about her? She was his and only his, and no one else had any right to look, to speak, to touch, to think… She was his property. _His. _

"How did it happen?"

"You wanna know how _I drove her mad?_" He asked, giggling. "Showed her the _dark side? _Well, doctor," He growled in a low voice. "It happened like this."

**Hello, fellow clowns! I wrote this as a oneshot, but I see a lot of potential for... Aggressive expansion! So, if anyone shows any interest and would like more of our favorite jesters in therapy, please do let me know and I'll drag some creativity from the deepest corners of my mind and write a new chapter (or more). Reviews are wonderful, they make my day. **


	2. Chapter 2

**chapter 2**

"It gets tiresome, listening to everybody else, doesn't it?" Harley asked, sipping water from a paper cup. She looked at the doctor from under her lashes, unsurprised to see her not looking at Harley, but down at her clipboard.

"That's right. You were a psychiatrist, before."

"_Crazy, _ain't it?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "Really, though, it does, and you know it. When I met Mr. J, it wasn't just me listening to his problems, but us conversing. He listened to _me._" Harley got a dreamy look in her eye as she spoke about her lover. He was so sweet. And kind, and perfect, and loving, and funny, and don't even start on how smart he -

"He listens to you? As in, you actually think he treats you well?" The doctor looked at Harley from over her glasses.

Raising an eyebrow, Harley said, "I don't think he does. I know he does. Sure, he gets a little _frustrated _sometimes, but who doesn't?"

"Harley, you have his initial carved into your stomach. Don't you think that's a little extreme?"

"How is it extreme? He wants the world to know I'm his. I love it," She said defensively. She touched her side reflexively, where the soft pink outline of a J marked her skin. She remembered the day he gave it to her crystal clear. "You don't understand. You couldn't understand. Mr. J is nothing like any other guy."

"That's true," The doctor said, jotting something down. "Can you tell me a moment he was particularly kind to you? Caring? A normal boyfriend?"

Harley pursed her lips. "Our relationship ain't normal, but that doesn't mean it isn't good. And yeah, sure, I have dozens of 'em. This was only a couple months ago…" She crossed her legs up on the couch as she started to tell her story. "Me and Mr. J had been on the run for about three weeks, like more so than usual, right? And we were shacked up in this little dreary old apartment…"

**Harley stared out the window of their newest hideout, grimacing at the weather outside. She liked it cold, but not **_**frozen. **_**Everything was frozen outside. There were hardly any cars out, that's how cold it was. The roads were too dangerous. That was bad for people in Gotham. It was especially bad for Harley, because she was in here locked away all day, while she knew J was out running about doing whatever it was that he was doing that day. She worried so much about him when he was out. It broke her heart. **

**Just around that time, though, the front door opened and Harley jumped up from the loveseat and ran into the other room, anxious to see her Puddin's face. He was covered in snow, but he looked like an angel in his purple coat, his hair wet and shivering slightly. He looked up at her and grinned. "**_**Honey, **_**I'm **_**home,**_" **He sung happily. **

"**Hey, Mr. J," She said, walking up and putting her hands on his chest. She shuddered. He was absolutely soaking wet, frozen to the bone. "What were you out doing today?" **

**He shivered and walked around her, dropping his coat and shaking his head like a dog to get the water out of his hair. "Christmas shopping," He replied, smirking wickedly at her. She raised a blonde eyebrow. **

"**You?" She asked.**

"**You **_**doubt **_**me, baby doll?" He purred.**

**She grinned at him. "Never." Just as she said that, two of the Joker's thugs walked in, grunting hard and breathing even harder. Harley turned around and gasped when she saw the large evergreen tree they were carrying through the door. She clasped her hands over her mouth. "You didn't," She whispered. Strong arms wrapped around her waist and cold lips touched her ear as he whispered.**

"**Oh, but I **_**did,**_" **He purred, nipping at her earlobe. She giggled, jumping up happily.**

"**Mr. J! I love you so much!" She yelled, turning around to hug him hard. He chuckled at her enthusiasm. **

"**The boys got some ornaments for you," He replied, less excited about it than her. "I know how much you **_**love **_**decorating the tree, **_**my dear.**_" **She grinned at him, running over to the shoebox that Eric had dropped onto the counter. Red, black, purple and green ornaments of all shapes and sizes filled it to the brim. **

"**You're so wonderful, J," Harley said to him with a smile on her face. **

**He flashed her a grin as he made his way towards the bedroom. "Merry **_**Christmas**_**, dollface." **

Harley sighed at the memory, hugging herself in contentment. "He's such a sweetheart."

"I suppose that is a nice story," The doctor said, raising an eyebrow. "You like Christmas then?"

Harley nodded happily. "Oh, yeah. That's around the time me and Mr. J first met. Well. It was in November, but around then, anyway. He likes it, too. You'd never guess, but it's his favorite holiday."

"I would've assumed Halloween."

Harley scowled, pursing her lips. "No. He likes the Christmas carols. And peppermints." The doctor nodded and Harley sat back, her hostility melting at the memory. "Yeah," She murmurred. "He's a swell guy."

The doctor nodded. She was leaning back in her chair, her leg crossed over the other one. They'd become a bit more relaxed as Harley told her story. "Can you remember a time on the opposite end of the spectrum? One of the really bad days?"

Harley frowned. "No days a bad day with him around."

"Well one of the less happier days, then."

"I'm always happy around him," She defended. "You don't get it. He doesn't make me sad. Sometimes he gets upset with me and might take out his anger on me," She said quietly. "But it's only because I did something wrong. So it's okay."

The doctor's frown was growing deeper at the enlightening conversation. "Well name a time that you did something really bad, and he got back at you for it."

Harley looked at the ceiling as she thought.

**His fist knocked into her face again making her cringe. "That was for **_**talking back,**_" **He growled. "And that was for telling me **_**no.**_" **She groaned, lying her head on the hard floor of the apartment. God, it hurt. She was so bruised, so sore. Her face was throbbing in multiple places and the ache in between her legs was even worse. She didn't watch him stand as he got up from the bed and went to dress himself. It had been a terrible night. It had started off good, of course, her happily watching J play a game of solitaire and then it ended in chaos when he angrily told her to go make use of herself and she told him that she didn't feel like it. That was her first mistake.**

**Later, after a few hits and kicks here and there, his temper had been reigned under control, and his lips had travelled to her sore neck. When she'd quietly told him she wasn't in the mood… That was her second mistake. "**_**You never say no to me," **_**He'd growled before forcing himself upon her exhausted body. Now she couldn't hardly stand to move a muscle. She hurt. Everywhere. The Joker left the room without another look in her direction, leaving her to mend herself. She tried to pull the blanket up to cover her cold body, but couldn't summon the strength to do so, tears falling down her swollen cheeks. She loved him so much, and she always failed to show him. How did he even stand to keep her around? She just disappointed him. That was it. She was a failure. He should have just killed her. **

**But he didn't.**

**He kept her alive, giving her another chance to prove her worth. She sighed, a smile forming on her bruised and split lip. He did care about her, even if he refused to show it. If he didn't, why would he give her so many opportunities to come through for him? She wouldn't fail him this time. She couldn't. Determined, she rolled her body over, burying her face in the Joker's pillow, embraced his smell and drifted off with a smile on her face.**

The doctor looked horrified, and Harley didn't know why. What had she said? It wasn't like the story was _that _gory. She'd left out most of the rougher details. Finally, the woman shook her head and sighed. "Harley, I…" She paused. "I think we should continue this another day. I actually have a meeting soon. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure thing, Doc," Harley said, chirpily. The orderly came in from outside and went to escort Harley back to her cell. Once the room was empty, the doctor hurried down the hallway, towards the other room where Dr. Bridgett was still interviewing the Joker. They needed to talk.


End file.
